Ready For a Serious Relationship? Make Sure Your Admirer Passes These 3 Tests

Choosing someone to be in a serious relationship with can be nerve-racking. I often talk with singles – women in particular – who feel ready to get involved in a serious relationship, but who are reluctant to commit because they are afraid of making a bad choice.

I am sympathetic to their plight because I was in a similar situation before entering in a serious relationship with Carlentz, the woman who became my wife and the mother of my children. I know what it is to feel ready for a serious relationship, but be afraid of choosing the wrong person.

The truth is that in relationships – like in many other things in life – there are no guarantees. Sorry! I know you wish there were. I do too.

That said, there are things you can do to increase the likelihood of success.

I believe that before saying “yes” to an invitation to enter in a serious relationship, you should, at a minimum, make sure your admirer passes the following 3 tests.

  • Test of vision. Before you can test your admirer’s vision, you must define your own. Where do you see yourself in 3, 5, 10, 20 years? What do you want your life to be about? Defining your vision is important because you will have to test your admirer’s vision to see if it is in harmony with your own. A serious relationship doesn’t thrive simply because you are lost in each other’s eyes, but because you are looking in the same direction.
  • Test of values. Similar to the test of vision, before you can test your admirer’s values, you must have clarity about your own. What is important to you? What are your core beliefs about money? About family? About God? Your values are the foundation of your life. Likewise, your admirer’s values are the foundation of his or her life. If you decide to enter in a serious relationship, both foundations are supposed to merge into one. If your values don’t align nicely together, you will clash and eventually crash.
  • Test of interactions. Interacting positively with your admirer is key to the success of the relationship. How do you feel when you are with your admirer? Can you be yourself? Or do you feel obliged to put up a mask? You should also pay close attention to your admirer’s interactions with other people: with members of his or her family; with members of your family; with his or her friends; etc. Evaluate your admirer’s actions, reactions and interactions in various settings. This will help you gain insight into the real person.

These tests will help you decide whether or not you should engage in a serious relationship with an admirer. All that glitters is not gold. Make your admirer go through these acid tests, and if he or she comes out shining, you may have found your gold.

Question: Besides these three tests, what important tests should an admirer  pass? You can leave a comment below.